Dear (Republican) Cabin "Subdivision,"

Already you are pissing me off by not having a limit on daily water consumption per property. I’m sure you realize we have been in a drought for 10 years. Even if we weren’t, we live on a mountain high up in the rain-shadow-desert dry-ass woods, where fires rage uncontrollably nearby every summer. Lawns? Why?

By “approval for building,” do you mean approval by someone who understands impacts on environment, both land and habitat? That has to adhere to codes and regulations? Like about that seasonal creek they are filling with landfill and dumping tree trunks and building junk into? In front of our cabin?

See a photo last week of deer where the mountain side was dug into years ago and that was slowly recovering with baby trees starting to grow.

See stupids digging that spot the other day to build a cabin on sand on a slope.

I realize you believe we can do what we want with the Earth and animals cuz you “own” it. What about responsibility and stewardship? I am so coming to the yearly association planning meeting.

Sincerely,

You are ruining my view

Dear Not Eating Out,

I am totally freaked out. There is just one of me and there are constant dishes to do. I am not eating that much, yo. Cornbread, greens, quesadillas, rice crispies – that’s about it for heavens sake.

There is even a dishwasher! I can’t keep up (and I have nothing to do). This is alarming because:
1) I (we) must have eaten out more than I let myself realize.
2) I am in love with the 40 year old Quaker-made oven proof dishes and I know there will be a fight between multiple siblings/grandkids to inherit them.
C) Dibs!
4) I am doing dishes EVERY day (!)…(!).

But really. Being isolated up here away from quick-fixes when I’m starving to death and all I want are tacos from El Rinconcito forces me to make something for myself. With my own monkey hands. Eating from my pantry is also forcing me to be creative when I’m hungry. This is difficult because when I get to that point, fangs and claws come out and I turn into a royal crackwhore.

There are worse things in life than learning how to take care of fundamentals. Many don’t even have fundamentals and here I am being all, “Oh the dishes I have to do every day,” yes, I know. You should see how much toilet paper I go through, and I thought I used way less than normal. These cabin experiments are bringing me way more in touch with basic functions and these are things I never thought I could get closer to.

A

Dear Acid Gut,

Today the french press I made tasted so good I had two cups. My virginal gut is reacting (hi poop from 1998) but that’s okay. This is what cabin fever does to a person. Experiments!

I also broke the Fishin’ for Kitties fishing rod, but I have hope that someone from the rednecky parts of my family will have the know-how to fix it. The kittens are really mad and keep staring at me like I did it on purpose. Maybe it was the coffee making me hook them in too fast, so I will take the blame.

I may have to spend the entire day inside because of the nearby fire – It’s so smokey outside today, it looks overcast like Seattle but not with the depressing double layer of gray that sucks your soul right out. It was a little alarming yesterday eve to see the smoke creeping over the mountain.

With all this pent-up energy I’m going to have to think of something creative to do like a dance routine or get my resume together.

Thanks a lot, coffee. I’m going back to chai soon,

A